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Celine – Part 2

Yeah I know I said I might quit. But I haven’t figured it out yet and I’m still here. I hope you don’t mind.

I read yesterday in the tabloids that Celine Dion is no longer pregnant with her frozen embryos. The articles that came out about it were a reminder of how little people understand the hurt of infertility. Take Perez Hilton for example. His comments on it were:

“Maybe 3rd time’s a charm – or adopt!!!
We’re sure they’re some long-haired French Canadian kiddies in need of a good home!”

The last thing a woman with infertility issues needs, is to be told that they should ADOPT! So fucking insensitive! And what the fuck is the fertility doctor doing announcing Celine’s pregnancy and then announcing that it never took. He also announced that her and her husband would be traveling to NY this weekend to attempt another transfer. While on one hand, it’s about time that a celebrity owned up to having infertility treatments instead of being ashamed and lying about it, I sure hope that she gave the blabber mouth doctor permission to release this information because every woman also has the right to her privacy.

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celine dion
(image as seen on cbc.new.ca)

In the latest celebrity infertility news, Celine Dion has become pregnant with an embryo that has been frozen for 8 years yo! That’s a really long time! I think they might have had male infertility factor, so they must have put away an embryo for later. Storing an embryo for 8 years x $1000/yr = $8,000. And that was in NY where shit is pricier so lets make it $10,000. Plus the FET which is like $8,000ish? That’s approximately an $18,000 baby. But when you’re Celine, that’s pocket change. She’s now 41 and supposedly only found out herself on Monday that she was knocked up. Kinda early to be breaking the news hey? You can read the whole article here.

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Newlyweds

A good friend of mine just got married and she’s already non-stop talking about having babies. Our conversation today went something like this:

Her: You know, we’ve started having sex without protection and hopefully we’ll get pregnant really soon. We decided to start trying sooner than later because god forbid, we have problems.

Me: Oh you mean, have problems like me?

Her: ….well…yeah. It must be frustrating. Have you tried using OPKs?

Me:…are you fucking kidding me?

Her: Well, have you?

Me: COME ON! We are so fucking past that. It’s been a year and a half! Why don’t you try for three months and not get pregnant and then multiply that frustration by 3,000 and even then you still won’t understand how FRUSTRATING this is. It’s not just frustrating, it fucks up your life.

Her: Well, let me know if there’s anything I can do. I could give you some tips on how to spice up the sex.

Me: ………

On a separate note, I just popped what hopefully will be my last dose of Femara. Whatever the end result of this cycle is, we’re moving on from here after this. Hooray! I also got a job offer today. Hooray! Maybe my luck is starting to turn around. I really hope so.

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Lance Armstrong’s fourth baby was born yesterday and he was named Max Armstrong (cute name). Lance was thought to be sterile because of his cancer treatments which supposedly killed his ability to have children but somehow he knocked up his girlfriend Anna Hansen. His three other children were born via IVF with his ex-wife Kristen.

So you know what I’m going to say here. How the HELL can a supposedly sterile man with a uni-ball (that’s one testicle ladies) knock up a girl, while me and my husband, two supposedly healthy people with normally functioning reproductive organs, struggle to have a child? That’s unexplained infertility for you.

Man. Life can be cruel.

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elephant in the room
(image as seen on Urban Horizon)

when you’re going through infertility, you can smell it on other people who are also going through it. you get on the subject of having kids and then you do the little dance. you skirt around the topic of when you’re having babies. you both say, yeah we know we want kids. we just don’t know when. but you both know a little too much about the other “options”. you say things about how expensive having kids can be. not to mention how much it would cost *if* you were to have problems.

i had lunch with this guy that i used to hook up with back in the day. we’re still friendly. he’s been married for a year and a half, i’ve been married for a little over a year. we’re both in our mid-thirties. there’s no reason for either one of us to be waiting to have kids. but we’re both childless with no kids on the horizon. the conversation about the possibility of children was awkwardly hilarious. i could clearly see that him and his wife are having infertility issues but neither of us admitted it to each other. if only it wasn’t so private. then we could talk about it and help each other. but…it was the big fat elephant in the room.

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HSG

hysterosalpingogram
(image from webmd.com)

the day after christmas and i had an HSG today. i prepared myself for the very worst in terms of pain. it certainly wasn’t comfortable by any means but it wasn’t as painful as i had imagined. the radiology girl was so super duper nice it made it so much easier. i really appreciate it when doctors or their assistants explain the procedure to you in great detail and when they walk you through the process as it moves along. this doctor and her assistant were just great like that. the x-ray showed that i had no blockage which was a huge relief. the doctor also explained that this test is also therapeutic as well, as it cleans out any debris or crud that is in the fallopian tubes. she wished me the best of luck and then sent me on my way with a big fat pad from like 1980.

also today, my house guests left. shortly after, the woman called me in tears from the road. apparently she had told her husband that she had shared their story with me and he was furious with her. they had made a promise that they would not tell anyone and he was very upset that she had told me, despite the fact that we were going through a similar thing. all of a sudden i felt terribly guilty for knowing. i think for a lot of men, it can feel emasculating when they are told that they have male infertility issues and of course it’s understandable that you wouldn’t want anyone else to know. on the other hand, it is us women that have to go through the drugs and the hardships on our bodies regardless of who’s problem it is and i know that it must be so difficult for a woman to not be able to tell or share it with anyone. this woman had told me that she had struggled during her own journey for that reason and she told me that she was telling me now because she wanted to help me in any way that she could. i now feel uncomfortable for knowing and don’t know what to do…

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