Integrated Screening and 3D Ultrasounds

Went in for an ultrasound today to get the first integrated screening test for Downs syndrome and Trisomy 18. Everything looks good so far. The babies both have strong heartbeats and are measuring right on target. The risk assessment for Down Syndrome they gave us was 1:7,200 and 1:72,000 for Trisomy 18. I won’t pursue any further genetic testing for now. We have the second follow up screening in about 4 weeks, where hopefully we will find out the sex of the babies!

Meanwhile, I got to see the babies in action and heard the heart beats for the first time today (I am at 13 weeks 0 days today). It was pretty crazy to see them moving around. And the 3D images! Amazing! We couldn’t get a good one of Baby B but here’s one of Baby A. We’re ecstatic about everything so far, although slightly mystified with Baby A’s right foot which appears to resemble the foot of an elf.

Baby A

Do twins run in your family?

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
We are in Australia at the moment visiting family and friends. We’ve told everyone here our news since I’ll be 13 weeks in about 4 days. As expected we got a lot of questions about the twins.

1) Do twins run in your family? (Fair enough)
2) Did you get fertility treatments? (Can you believe people are this blatant?)

I am not ashamed that I got fertility treatments to get to this point. Some people are just not lucky enough for it to happen naturally and what’s wrong with getting a little help? I knew that we would be getting questions like this and I was prepared with answers.

Answer to #1: yes they do. My cousin has twins. (IVF twins but they don’t need to know that!)
Answer to #2: yes we had help (…followed by no further information unless pressed)

My thoughts on this are that yes, infertility is a private thing for some people and it’s certainly not information that I will necessarily voluntarily share with someone. However, if asked, I am not going to belittle or downplay the shit we had to go through to get here by lying. Also, I am conscious of the fact that there may be other couples out there that have problems and don’t know anyone else that have gone through treatment. I know I was one of them. If any of these people ever wanted to ask us questions then I would love to be there for these friends as support and to answer any questions. It’s something that I did not have because most people are so damn private.

Anyhow…while I’m more than ecstatic to be with twins, it would have been ok with me to have avoided all the intrusive questions (which I’m sure we’ll get from more people back home when we announce there) by having a singleton.

Celine – Part 2

Yeah I know I said I might quit. But I haven’t figured it out yet and I’m still here. I hope you don’t mind.

I read yesterday in the tabloids that Celine Dion is no longer pregnant with her frozen embryos. The articles that came out about it were a reminder of how little people understand the hurt of infertility. Take Perez Hilton for example. His comments on it were:

“Maybe 3rd time’s a charm – or adopt!!!
We’re sure they’re some long-haired French Canadian kiddies in need of a good home!”

The last thing a woman with infertility issues needs, is to be told that they should ADOPT! So fucking insensitive! And what the fuck is the fertility doctor doing announcing Celine’s pregnancy and then announcing that it never took. He also announced that her and her husband would be traveling to NY this weekend to attempt another transfer. While on one hand, it’s about time that a celebrity owned up to having infertility treatments instead of being ashamed and lying about it, I sure hope that she gave the blabber mouth doctor permission to release this information because every woman also has the right to her privacy.

Starting Over

I’m thinking about starting a new blog and retiring this one or just calling it quits altogether. The main reason is that I don’t think many people who were reading my blog in the past, want to hear about someone else’s pregnancy…I know I wouldn’t. And I know a lot of people have blog feeds and I don’t want to keep shoving this kind of stuff into their business. And because I feel so badly about that, I don’t have much to say these days. A blog that doesn’t get updated often, loses readers anyway. Nowadays, when I log into WordPress, my main objective is to read blog posts from my fellow IF bloggers who are out there fighting it out with IF, to wish them well…and I can do that without maintaining my own blog. So I think this could be farewell soon…at least until I lose my shit and decide that I actually want THREE kids and have to deal with secondary infertility.

Sick

I knew this would happen. While I was desperately trying to hunt down any available H1N1 vaccinations in SF, I got sick. It’s probably not the swine flu because I haven’t had a high fever, but I have probably coughed up a lung (or two) by now. Being pregnant and sick is miserable. Add fatigue on top of fatigue and the fear that every time you cough, you are about to cough your baby(s) out of your vagina. Can’t take any medications and my weakened immune system is causing me to have canker sores in my mouth which makes my already sensitive eating habits, all the more sensitive. I have always been bad at being sick and I’ve been coming to the slow realization that I think I’m also bad at being pregnant. I’m a whiner!

Interviewing while knocked up

I hate my job and it has become more pronounced and unbearable lately. I’ve only been there three months but I’m more jaded than some of the people who have been there for 5 years. Right before I got the BFP I decided to start interviewing. And then afterwards, I decided to keep going at it. The reality is, I’m still only 9 weeks tomorrow. Anything can happen. Why should I put off my long term career goals because of this? But should I tell my potential new employer that I am in early pregnancy at some stage during the interview process? And when? I am super torn about this right now. I just did a couple rounds of interviews at a place that I would really like to work and I just don’t know if and when to say anything. Because I have a twin pregnancy, I’m going to start showing soon. My gut is already sticking out and I’ve been hiding it under my wrap sweaters. I feel like witholding this information would just start things off on the wrong foot at the start of a new job. Anyone have any advice or thoughts?

Ultrasound #2

Ever since I lost my dear cat yesterday I stopped caring that I was pregnant. I know that sounds horrible but him and I, we’ve been together for FOURTEEN years and I don’t even know these guys yet…all I could think about was my poor furry baby. I can’t help feeling this immense guilt, like I had to trade in one of the things I love the most in this world for a chance to be pregnant and all I want is for my kitty to walk back into the house. But I know that won’t happen.

Despite my anguish, the ultrasound today at exactly 8 weeks showed that both babies still have heartbeats and are growing normally. One is at 17mm and 181 hbpm and the other at 15mm and 165 hbpm. And when I saw that I knew that I had to change my attitude and work my way through this huge hole in my life.

I’ve decided to take on some of the ideals of my Buddhist background and believe that my beloved kitty has changed life forces and become one of the lives in my belly. He may be gone in the form that I once knew, but that the cycle of life will bring him back to me in another form. Is that silly? I just miss him so much, I don’t know how else to get through it.