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Posts Tagged ‘cramping’

My nurse heard my panicked message and called me back this morning and asked me are you still cramping and bleeding? I was lucky to be able to answer, no. Well, technically I’m bleeding but…ok here goes the TMI. I have hemmorrhoids. I’ve gotten it once before and it looks like I have it again…and it’s bleeding red blood. I finally figured it out later this morning when the same thing happened and I saw drops of blood in my urine. Wiped the front – nothing. Tried wiping the back and saw bright red blood. I don’t want to celebrate having a hemmy but I am fucking stoked that it’s not coming out of the other hole. The nurse advised me to drink a ton of water (helps with cramping) and not to panic as my first beta number was strong. I did just that and I’ve had a relatively cramp free day and in fact I’d go as far as saying I feel great. But I’m paranoid that I feel too good though. The nurse moved my second beta up to tomorrow morning to help alleviate my stress, so at least I’ll get some reassurance (or bad news) tomorrow…

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It’s only been 2 days since I got the BFP and I already feel it slipping through my fingers. I’ve been cramping quite a bit the last day or so and last night I woke up in the middle of the night having to pee and with cramps. The next time I got up to pee at 5am, there were drops of blood in the toilet bowl with drops of red blood when I wiped. My boobs are less sore this morning too. All of this is a bad sign I’m sure. I’m trying to take it all in stride. It’s only been 2 days so my attachment level is low but it’s shitty to be in fear like this, especially when you’ve waited so long to get to this point. I’m afraid to go to the bathroom because I’m afraid to see more blood.

Ultimately though, my end goal is a healthy baby so if it’s not healthy and can’t get through the first week then it’s just not meant to be. I suppose I will call the clinic today and see if they want me to do anything. I don’t really know what to do with myself.

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