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Posts Tagged ‘infertility’

I’m trying to be ok with it but I am starting to lose my faith in humanity. OK fine, that’s an exaggeration but I seriously am done telling people that I’m having twins. I went to a party last night and I cannot believe the number of people that are dying to know HOW I got twins. It’s relentless. My original intent was to not lie about it but I might change my mind about this. And I think the worst part is that my close friends are telling people because they get asked about it from acquaintances. I was complaining to my friend about it and he said, you don’t care if people know do you? Um, do you want people to know when and how you masturbated last time??? It’s kind of private!!!! Judging from my own reaction, maybe I do care about whether people know or not, a lot more than I thought I did. Any more advice on how to handle this or just be ok with everyone knowing?

On another note, I am going through a little mini scare right now. I started spotting last night and it’s on and off. It’s very very light and there are no cramps but I’m as nervous as hell about it. I called the on-call doctor and she reassured me that it’s normal and that I should not be worried. If it doesn’t stop soon though I’m going to barge in and demand an examination!

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Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
We are in Australia at the moment visiting family and friends. We’ve told everyone here our news since I’ll be 13 weeks in about 4 days. As expected we got a lot of questions about the twins.

1) Do twins run in your family? (Fair enough)
2) Did you get fertility treatments? (Can you believe people are this blatant?)

I am not ashamed that I got fertility treatments to get to this point. Some people are just not lucky enough for it to happen naturally and what’s wrong with getting a little help? I knew that we would be getting questions like this and I was prepared with answers.

Answer to #1: yes they do. My cousin has twins. (IVF twins but they don’t need to know that!)
Answer to #2: yes we had help (…followed by no further information unless pressed)

My thoughts on this are that yes, infertility is a private thing for some people and it’s certainly not information that I will necessarily voluntarily share with someone. However, if asked, I am not going to belittle or downplay the shit we had to go through to get here by lying. Also, I am conscious of the fact that there may be other couples out there that have problems and don’t know anyone else that have gone through treatment. I know I was one of them. If any of these people ever wanted to ask us questions then I would love to be there for these friends as support and to answer any questions. It’s something that I did not have because most people are so damn private.

Anyhow…while I’m more than ecstatic to be with twins, it would have been ok with me to have avoided all the intrusive questions (which I’m sure we’ll get from more people back home when we announce there) by having a singleton.

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Celine – Part 2

Yeah I know I said I might quit. But I haven’t figured it out yet and I’m still here. I hope you don’t mind.

I read yesterday in the tabloids that Celine Dion is no longer pregnant with her frozen embryos. The articles that came out about it were a reminder of how little people understand the hurt of infertility. Take Perez Hilton for example. His comments on it were:

“Maybe 3rd time’s a charm – or adopt!!!
We’re sure they’re some long-haired French Canadian kiddies in need of a good home!”

The last thing a woman with infertility issues needs, is to be told that they should ADOPT! So fucking insensitive! And what the fuck is the fertility doctor doing announcing Celine’s pregnancy and then announcing that it never took. He also announced that her and her husband would be traveling to NY this weekend to attempt another transfer. While on one hand, it’s about time that a celebrity owned up to having infertility treatments instead of being ashamed and lying about it, I sure hope that she gave the blabber mouth doctor permission to release this information because every woman also has the right to her privacy.

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These photos are a little blurry but here they are anyway.

Baby A

Baby A
Baby B

Baby B

…and here’s both of them. She tried to squeeze them into the same view so one of them is squished. It’s the dark circle in the middle and the half circle on the right. I think.

both

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Two

Holy crap! There’s two in there! And most importantly, they both have heartbeats! One is measuring at 9mm (6w6d) with a heart rate of 127 and the other is 12mm (7w1d) with a heart rate of 147. The doctor I saw today was very pleased but of course, cautioned me about the fact that I was still very early and about vanishing twin syndrome. I go back in next week for another check up to see if they are progressing.

It continues to baffle me how we could have gone without getting pregnant for a full year naturally, and then for almost another year with fertility drugs and then all of sudden, bam, two at once. I can’t help but wonder about what it was that made it work this time (and twice as well!) but I guess I will never know the answer. For now, I am just relieved that there is life inside of me. I will post the ultrasound photos soon!

Thanks so much to everyone for all of your warm comments and support. I can’t tell you how much it means to me. I do and will continue to follow you all on your journey’s as well.

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I remember when kate from infertile myrtle was doing the countdown for her first ultrasound. It’s actually quite agonizing. But I know I’m lucky to be here now and I will endure the wait. Things are normal (I think – but what do I know) so far. The last couple of days, food aversion has set in and I’m having trouble finding anything that I actually want to eat. It’s very strange.

A good friend of mine also just got pregnant…of course on her first try. I am amazed at the difference between the two of us. She’s so in love with pregnancy, so positive, so glowing. She’s even already named the thing. I feel like an old rusty door knob next to her. Partly it’s that I know too much (I started talking about ectopics and blighted ovums and almost burst her bubble). But it’s also because it’s hard to switch gears and go from identifying with being infertile to being pregnant. I still identify with all the ladies out there who are going through their cycles and those are the women that I want to cheer on and talk to and read about. I wonder if the girls out there that were having difficulties getting pregnant but now are, know what I am talking about?

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My nurse heard my panicked message and called me back this morning and asked me are you still cramping and bleeding? I was lucky to be able to answer, no. Well, technically I’m bleeding but…ok here goes the TMI. I have hemmorrhoids. I’ve gotten it once before and it looks like I have it again…and it’s bleeding red blood. I finally figured it out later this morning when the same thing happened and I saw drops of blood in my urine. Wiped the front – nothing. Tried wiping the back and saw bright red blood. I don’t want to celebrate having a hemmy but I am fucking stoked that it’s not coming out of the other hole. The nurse advised me to drink a ton of water (helps with cramping) and not to panic as my first beta number was strong. I did just that and I’ve had a relatively cramp free day and in fact I’d go as far as saying I feel great. But I’m paranoid that I feel too good though. The nurse moved my second beta up to tomorrow morning to help alleviate my stress, so at least I’ll get some reassurance (or bad news) tomorrow…

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