being the person that can’t get pregnant is very difficult, especially when it comes to other people you know achieving pregnancy. i’ve read about this particular topic over and over again in other people’s blogs about friends who are insensitive but really, some people are just clueless!
i have a co-worker who is newly pregnant and since we’d been discussing the topic of trying to get pregnant, she decided to tell me her news at 6 weeks. i truly am happy for her, i really am, but her insensitivity towards my situation is driving me nuts. a couple of weeks ago, it was uncharacteristically warm in SF. she sends me an instant message that said: is it hot in here or is it just me being pregnant? ok so that may not seem that bad to some of you but it bugged the shit out me. why do you gotta say it like that? couldn’t you just have asked me if it was hot?
today she told me how she can’t stand how she is sick 24/7. i politely responded and said, well at least you are pregnant – that i would trade shoes with her any day. a very polite response to an insensitive comment. but she didn’t get the hint. she continued on, “yes but i’d like to go back to before“, she says. “i stayed in bed ALL day yesterday because i was so sick“. telling a woman who wants to get pregnant and hasn’t been able to that you would rather not be pregnant anymore is not cool, people!
so what do you do with people like this? well you want to wringe their necks but you can’t do that. so hint very very strongly. and if that doesn’t work, then eventually you’ll just have to sit them down and tell them NO, NO, NO. please don’t talk to me about this stuff. choose your right audience. i am not your audience for complaints about pregnancy. as a last resort, avoid them or hope that they spontaneously go away.