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I went to my clinic’s IVF info session this evening. Was packed with lots of information but nothing really I didn’t know. I just want to get the show on the road at this point. Before I start with the IVF program, there are a few tests that are mandatory that I need to do. One is the saline sonogram of the uterus. They do this to rule out fibroids, polyps and Ashermans or any other abnormalities in the uterus that may affect implantation. Also I’m probably going to have to do some blood tests for diseases. There are some other hormone level testing that is required but I’m hoping that the ones I did for the IUIs will cover those. I spoke to the IVF pre-cycle coordinator today and she is going to call me to let me know what labs I still need to do.

Assuming I pass all of these tests, I’m wondering how soon they’ll let me start the program.

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the doctor called me yesterday with my results from the 7dpo blood test and my progesterone levels are normal. i don’t know whether to be excited or exasperated. i still have the hysterosalpingogram that i have to do next month and then my pre-infertility clinic tests will be complete. meanwhile, life has gone on and today i am at 13dpo so my LP continues to stay more lengthened than it was before. i guess all the running really was not helping the ol’ LP because it really is the only lifestyle change that i’ve made (although i have been going to acupuncture as well…), but i do miss it so. i feel the dreaded period coming on as well so i’m sure that is right around the corner. preparing myself for bust #12. bring it bitch!

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got up super early this morning so i could make it to the blood lab by 7:30am so that i could then make a 9am meeting. today’s blood test was to get an idea of progesterone levels at 7 days past ovulation. i hope to get the test results next week. i’m particularly interested in the results of this test because my prediction is that i will have lower levels of progesterone than the norm. but i have no proof to back that up at the moment so i’m curious to see what the results are. the fact that i’m at 7dpo means that i have about 5 days to go until my period. again. its like groundhog day. i am finally getting to the point now where i don’t even get my hopes up every month. i’ve stopped looking at “pregnancy symptom” posts because i know my symptoms are regular period symptoms and i feel blah and indifferent. i won’t say that i don’t care but i certainly don’t sit around and think about what i have planned in 9 months that i might have to reschedule…anymore.

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thank you for my two cyber friends for commenting on my test results. it’s true that it’s nice to get good test results. but that also means that (as of right now) there’s no REASON for the infertility. it’s kind of a strange spot to be in because you desperately want to be healthy but you also want there to be a REASON that you’re not getting pregnant. because if there’s a reason then you can fix it right? i dread being told that we have “unexplained infertility” because that basically means the doctors have no fucking clue what is going on with you and you’ve been thrown into the “miscellaneous” bucket. no doubt, when that happens, they start throwing different types of drugs at you just to see if anything might just happen. i have been brought up to not take medication haphazardly. i never take pain killers unless i am bent over in hysteric spams and i’ve never been on birth control pills. so the idea of taking drugs to “see what happens” is not comforting to me.

i hope i don’t sound ungrateful for being told that i’m healthy so far. and the glass is half empty part of me is saying it’s too soon to say that nothing is wrong anyway. we still have a couple more tests to go. and maybe my husband’s slightly low motility is actually affecting our ability to get pregnant (it seems unlikely). but is it terrible for me to want there to be something completely fixable wrong with me so i can make excuses to myself for why it just ain’t happening?! sigh. this fucked up mind is the result of months of infertility and frustration. not being able to get pregnant…blows.

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prometriumi had an appointment with my OB/GYN today. i went in to discuss the tests that she wants me to take before she refers me off to a fertility specialist. here’s what i have to do:

CD 3: blood test for estrogen and FSH levels. FSH levels will give a rough idea of my egg supply. do i have enough that i don’t need to worry too much about time or am i drying up? she also recommended that i have a thyroid analysis done as well.
CD21 or 7dpo: blood test for progesterone levels. if you’re not producing enough progesterone, a fertilized egg has no chance because your uterine lining can’t build up enough for it to implant. progesterone, along with HCG also sustains an implanted egg through the first three months of its life.
ultrasound: get an ultrasound to find out if i have cysts or if there are any signs of endometriosis. my mother has endo so there’s a pretty good chance i have it which is not good.
hysterosalpingogram: that’s a mouthful. this is basically a dye test. they shoot some dye up your hooha through your cervix and xray as the dye come back down through your fallopian tubes. this reveals some information about the shape of your uterus and will show whether you have any cysts or fibroids that are blocking your fallopian tubes.

in addition, she prescribed me some supplemental progesterone (prometrium) to take once i’ve done all my tests. she wants to see if that might help a little bit (just in case i am fertilizing an egg but am unable to sustain an implanted embryo) as my luteal phase is on the shorter side (10-12 days, one time i had an 8 day LP).

currently i’m on day 24 of this cycle and i think its another bust. i have all the typical “pregnancy” symptoms which are also the same as most PMS symptoms and i have the dull cramping that typically precedes my period. these next two days are the roughest days because i’m just anticipating what is inevitable and facing yet another failure.

current mood: depressed, sad and frustrated that i’m now at the point where i am having to take these tests to figure out if something is “wrong” with me. on the bright side of things, if there is something wrong with me, it would be nice to know sooner than later. also, since i’m almost at the end of this cycle, this means i can get started on the tests, probably by the end of the week.

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sperm analysis

my husband sacked up and went in to get a sperm analysis done. i’ve been waiting for this to get completed for a while. when you’re impatient and a planner like me, you need to start crossing things off your list. the results were pretty good. normal volume, normal morphology but slightly reduced motility. the US range of “normal” is 60% motility. that means 60% of your swimmers are moving around and only 40% are being lazy asses. the GLOBAL range of “normal” is 50%. why the two are different I have no idea. it seems stupid. anyway, my husband’s was somewhere in between at 52.4%. the doc says that she doesn’t want to send him to a urologist yet. she wants to do tests on me first and then maybe do another retest on him. so that’s all scheduled for next week. while it’s nice to cross my husband off the list of reasons why we are not getting pregnant (at least for now), now the pressure is back on me. yes, i know. it could be a combination of both of us. but still. it’s unwelcomed pressure that i’m going to try not to feel.

in the last couple of weeks, as promised, i’ve cut down on the running. i’ve only run 30 min twice per week, and i’ve interspersed that with some off days, yoga and one day of swimming. its hard for me to not exercise but i think i’m starting to put on some weight as my jeans are feeling tight. this shit better work or i’ll be mad that i put on weight for nothing! i’m on CD20 (cycle day 20) today and i’ve been having 26 day cycles lately so i’m due again for my period next week. i’ve stopped temping this month as well (post ovulation) because the stress of monitoring temps every day and freaking out every time it rises and falls is just too much. i’m slowly starting to come to terms with the fact that i’m probably going to need “medical assistance” (whatever that may be) to get pregnant. bleh.

anyway, here’s what’s supposed to happen and is not happening.

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