Posts Tagged ‘uterus’

(image as seen on Declutter Your House)

IVF information session: Check.

Saline Sonogram on uterus: this Thursday.

Blood test for diseases (me): later this week.

Husband’s SA for morphology: later this week.

Antibiotics and BCPs for IVF cycle: coordinator will call in prescription tomorrow.

I’m hoping by the end of the week, we’ll be done with the remainder of our check list. The IVF coordinator called me today and said that assuming my saline sonogram comes out ok, I will get my protocol soon and go on birth control pills for a few weeks and antibiotics for 10 days before I start stims. That means I could be starting the process as early as August which is cool, I guess. On the other hand, at one of my first ultrasounds, I was told that I had a polyp in my uterus that was around 5mm – so very small. The RE had said at the time that this was not a big issue so I’m just hoping that it has stayed very small and isn’t bigger than we think it is.

Things have been a little tough with my husband lately. I feel very disconnected from him. Part of it is that I am feeling disconnected from everyone in my life just because I’ve been depressed and unhappy. But we are supposed to be a team, and we are supposed to be going through this together…except it feels so lonely sometimes. As hard as he tries to understand, there is a huge crevasse between us. It’s the hormones, yes, but it’s also the silent anger that I have that I am the one that has to physically suffer through all of this. My brain knows this is unfair. But my heart won’t listen. I’m bitter. I don’t think he’ll ever get what it feels like to not be able to do what you’re supposed to do as a female and how bad I feel that I can’t provide us with a child. Or how everything in my life has dropped to the sidelines and I’ve become sucked into the infertility vortex and can’t get out. And how desperately I want this all to be over with.

Yesterday we got in an argument because he said that if we have the option of transferring two vs. one embryo, he only wants to do one at a time because he doesn’t want twins. I almost lost my shit. How many times does he think I’m going to do this? I also, would prefer not to have twins, but given the option for two vs one embryo transfer, there’s no chance that I’m going to do one at a time. I want to maximize the chances of pregnancy so I minimize having to do IVF over and over again and if we get twins out of this, then so be it. Beggers cannot be choosers and at this point, clearly we are in the “begger” category.

We’re lucky that IVF is an option for us, but I’m feeling overwhelmed and stressed and it’s hard to get excited right now.


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(image as seen on medline plus)

do you like the visual?! so i got the ultrasound this morning. i drank a ton of water to fill up my bladder beforehand as told, and then couldn’t hold it and had to go and then drank more to try and fill it up again in time for my appointment but it wasn’t quite there. the technician commented on it. oops sorry, technician lady.

the ultrasound over the belly was nice. the technician pointed things out to me as she saw them and it was really educational. then she made me put my feet in the stirrups and said, “i’m going to insert a probe inside of you. it should feel something like a tampon”. she then grabbed the giant stick that she alluded to as a “tampon” and i was like WTF! that ain’t no tampon. it looked more like a…dildo. the internal ultrasound was actually more interesting though. she at one point asked me if i exercised a lot and i said yes (well, i used to). she said, “yes, i can tell because your veins are very prominent”. she said this was a good thing as this meant that i had good blood circulation in the area. one of the slightly awkward moments was when she told me that i had “gas”. it was true. i did. but i was embarrassed that we could actually see it moving around up in there. she also showed me the matured follicle in my right ovary. she said, you either have, or are going to ovulate from your right side this month”. that was kind of exciting because i just got a + OPK this morning and usually its just this stupid smiley face looking up at me, and this time i actually got to see the real thing.

all in all, i supposedly passed with flying colors. no polyps, no cysts, a smooth lining in the uterus. no obvious endometriosis that i thought i would have. i am thankful and now am thinking that exercise is a good thing. more blood circulation in the area is no doubt a major help.

i have one more blood test this month on CD21 to measure progesterone levels and then the hysterosalpingogram during my next cycle.

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