14dpiui Beta

I didn’t do jack shit at work today. How could I? I was completely distracted by other new developments in my life. I snuck out of work to go get a blood test to confirm whether or not the pee stick was lying to me. My IVF nurse called me and said my beta was at 382. She said anything above 100 is good. She was also the one that was trying to unsuccessfully console me when this IVF cycle was canceled. She laughed and said, what did I tell you? Converted IVF cycles CAN result in pregnancy! But I’m still nervous and I should be.

My next blood test is on Friday. I’m surprised they don’t want me to go in on Wednesday. I’m kind of bummed that I have to wait four days to confirm whether this is still a viable pregnancy at that time. But I’ve done enough waiting. What’s another 4 days right?

Someone asked me about symptoms. Nothing in particular that strikes me as odd. I have cramps, I have boobs that are sore sometimes and sometimes not. Heavy full feeling in the belly. I love olives, not loving chocolate so much right now. It feels EXACTLY like I’m getting my period. In fact, as I sit here typing, I’m still wondering if I’m about to get it. I’m trying to figure out what made the IUI work this time that didn’t work the other times. I did have that hysteroscopy to remove the polyps in August and this is the first IUI since then. This is also the first time that I’ve done injectables and a trigger shot with an IUI. This is also the first time I used progesterone suppositories. We also had shingles (me) and chicken pox (husband) although I’m sure that has absolutely nothing to do with it. I am convinced that all of this is completely crazy and random.

We’re not completely out of the woods yet and won’t be for a while. My husband and I have decided that if something doesn’t work out with this pregnancy, at least this is a step forward in that we know we can get pregnant. This is the farthest we’ve ever gotten and for that I’m truly grateful.

Thanks for all the support ladies….

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Hysteroscopy

Tomorrow is surgery day…is this considered surgery? I don’t know. I still feeling nothing inside. It’s like the desire to have kids all of a sudden died inside of me. Now I can’t stop thinking about how much time I’ve wasted being miserable and pining about having a baby and the fact that I’ll never get that time back. I’m always so negative. I need a break from myself!

In the meantime, I’m been getting back into running shape, lost a little bit of the chubbiness and getting closer to what I was before. Just in time for injections and IVF! It’s amazing how much better I feel about myself though.

Hope everyone out there is doing ok! It sounds like quite a few of us are about to go through our first IVF cycle. Lets hold hands and get through this together.

Goodbye little polyp. You were an uninvited guest in my uterus and I will be glad to be rid of you.

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It’s back on.

I have super project management skillz. Luckily, it’s something I also do for a living. I sorted out the miscommunication, waded through the knee deep bullshit, got to the root of the problem, made them get their ducks in a row and at long last, got the call that IVF has been authorized. It’s done. I am less excited…more relieved. I won’t feel ok about it until I get my IVF calendar.

It’s CD1 today…19th failure to get pregnant…and counting. As usual, my period came at the same time it does every month. 14dpo. I’m so regular it seems wrong that I can’t get pregnant. Tomorrow I start taking antibiotics and birth control pills. Next Friday, I have my hysteroscopy and who knows what happens after that. It’s all so unclear, so unorganized and I blame my clinic. They really suck big fat hairy balls. Again, I am making the calls, trying to gather information about what the plan is moving forward.

Life is feeling pretty normal again these days. So much that the whole fertility treatment world seems like a far distant memory. I’m not looking forward to going back there. I’m trying to wrap my head around the idea that maybe I could have a baby soon if this IVF thing works and that seems absolutely crazy to me. My body…pregnant? Life with a baby? It’s infathomable after so many failures. I’m not necessarily looking at IVF as the end to everything. I really see it as another diagnostic test to figure out what the hell is wrong with me. The embryos will give us an idea of whether it’s an embryonic issue or if it might be an implantation issue. My gut says it’s implantation. It’s an eery feeling to know that I might know soon. Knowledge is power.

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Polyp continued: and the RE says…

It hasn’t even been 3 hours since I’ve had the saline sonogram and I already got a call from my RE! I have been very unimpressed with him in the past, but after the past few consultations I’ve had with him, I am liking this guy more and more. I still have to probe him for his recommendation, which is an annoying trait for a specialized doctor, but he does give it up in the end.

His thoughts on my polyp were:

• it’s very small – it measures 7x3mm and it’s only really considered to be a factor if it’s above 1cm
• it is definitely not the cause of my infertility (perhaps a minor contribution)
• removing it is optional because he’s seen lots of women with larger polyps get pregnant
• women who have polyps tend to get polyps over and over again so even if we remove this one I may get another

His overall recommendation:

If you’re moving forward with IVF, it’s a minor procedure so lets just take it out to optimize your chances of success.

The good news is that I can schedule the hysteroscopy for within the first 10 days of my next cycle and he said it should not delay the IVF path that we are on! Day 1 of my next cycle, I should take my BCP as prescribed along with 10 days of antibiotics, do the hysteroscopy and the show goes on!

Feeling much better about the whole thing.

(image as seen on Dimeda)

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Polyp

During my first medicated Clomid cycle, at the CD11 ultrasound, the doctor saw a 5mm polyp. At the time, he said that anything under 1cm was not really significant and therefore not worth removing. Since then no one has mentioned ever seeing it again so I was hoping it went away on its own. Well it popped up again during the saline sonogram today. It measured 7mm at the longest end so it’s still what the doctors would consider “very small” but the doctor who conducted my sonogram told me that she would recommend getting it removed via hysteroscopy. If you’re gonna spend the time and effort doing IVF, you might as well try to go into it in as good of shape as possible, right? So this is likely going to delay the starting of my IVF cycle and it’ll probably also make me have to take some time off work (on a new job!!! yikes) so not really happy about that, but I’ll do whatever the doctor tells me to do because I’m too tired to try and come up with my own ideas. On a positive note, I did not have Ashermans syndrome, fibroids or any other issues. Lets get rid of this polyp already.

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